Fly the Friendly Skies of United (Final episode)

So, the trip went off without a hitch and we had a wonderful time in Hawaii.

Once we got back I wrote a letter to the President of UAL Corporation, which is the parent company of United Airlines. I also copied the Vice President – Customer Experience (I also told her that she had her work cut out for her if the thousands of complaints on the internet were any indication of what the average “Customer Experience” was like). My letter was basically asking them to verify that in fact, it wasn’t against the law to change the name and that they would direct their employees to NOT tell people that. I also wrote a letter to the CSR’s Supervisor telling her that she had all her information wrong.

Two weeks later I received a response from somebody in “Customer Relation” indicating that the President had passed my letter to them and they “appreciate the opportunity to respond”.

Keeping in mind that I asked them to verify that it wasn’t against the law to change the name, this is what I got – word for word:

Ms. Cates, as soon as you buy a ticket, your fare is guaranteed and protected from increases. If you change the itinerary, the fare may change too. The fare in effect at the time of your itinerary change will determine the fare for your revised itinerary. Most airlines, including United, do not have waivers protecting the original fare when customers must make last-minute changes. I hope this information is helpful when making future reservations. As a gesture of goodwill I am enclosing a travel certificate for a future use with United. Please continue to fly with United.

??????? Ok what part of my letter was actually read? And please, I don’t want a $150 travel voucher because I never plan on traveling with you people ever again. So, I fired off another letter to the President, mildly scolding him for passing off my letter to an underling and reassuring him that I was still awaiting a reply to my original question. I also enclosed the travel voucher explaining that I would not be using it. That letter was dated December 10^th, 2007.

I received another reply from the same Customer Relations person dated December 20, 2007. This is what it said – word for word:

Thank you for writing to us mentioning that you didn’t receive the travel certificate issued to you. I am responding to your letter addressed to Mr. Tilton.

Ms. Cates, so I may help you receive a replacement travel certificate, please sign below to verify the original certificate(s) is not in your possession. Then return this letter to my attention. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to respond to your concerns. We look forward to serving you again.

WHAAAT???? Now I feel like I’m being punk’d. Where are the hidden cameras waiting to record my reaction???? Who is this person writing this stuff – it has to be a robot. I don’t even know what to say or how to reply. And by NOT replying I received yet another letter – this time dated December 25^th. Yep, Christmas Day – such dedication…But this time it has a different tone than the other obvious form letters. This is what it said – again, WORD FOR WORD with spelling as it appeared in the letter:

Thank you for writing to us again (well, except that I didn’t). I am responding to your letter addressed to Mr. Tilton.

Ms. Cates, I sincerely regret that you remain unhappy with my response. Let me inform you about the name change policy. Once a reservation is completed, we do not allow a name change. As mentioned, you were informed by on the phone agents that name change is not allowed in the reservation according to law. In case a passenger insists the name change, the reservation is cancelled first and $100 in charged for it. A new reservation is prepared again for the passenger.

Hmm, I wonder if they do random drug testing at United Airlines.

I am not surprised when just a little while later I receive yet another letter, dated January 7, 2008 which is the exact same one that I received dated December 25. Only this time it contains another travel voucher (obviously to replace the one that was lost…oh wait, that’s right I GAVE it back to them).

And this is where it sits. I don’t have an answer to my question, I have a $150 travel voucher that I will never use, United Airlines has a real problem with customer relations, and nobody understands English there.

I will swim to Hawaii before I will ever fly with United.

Fly the Friendly Skies of United (Part 2)

I am so choked with United Airlines at this point. I talked to other airlines – some will change a name for free, some will charge a small fee and some would require proper documentation (i.e. marriage certificate). All reasonable requirements. But what SOOO annoyed me was the reference to 9/11. They were lying to their customers. It was obviously a company policy – not some Homeland Security law that was passed by the United States Congress (I think that’s who passes laws in the US – I will have to look that up). Can’t you just see all those congressmen debating this new law???

Yes, that is definitely the best way to keep our home shores safe – DO NOT LET boneheaded people who make stupid on-line mistakes change the name on their airline reservation. Here, here! Those infidels! This is an important historic moment!! Rah, Rah, Rah.

Anyways, like I said before – I used to work at the airport so I called the head guy for United Airlines in Vancouver and told him my dilemma and by the next day my name was changed and it didn’t cost me a cent. He was pretty sure that the US Government would rather have the real names of passengers instead of fake ones.

So, take that, CSR’s Supervisor. I so wanted to call her back and say “Nah, nah, na, nah, nah” and yes, I know that’s childish, but I didn’t. Not because I was adult enough not to act childish – I just didn’t want them to mess up my reservation. So I left that for after my trip was finished.

Part III to come….

Fly the Friendly Skies of United (Part 1)

About a year ago Doug booked airfare to Hawaii online, for the two of us. The cheapest flight was through United Airlines. So far, so good. Oh, except for the fact that he booked it on a site that we don’t normally use and when our names came up in a dropdown box, he selected our names and completed the reservation. Only I guess it must have been a dozen years ago when he last booked on there because that particular site had my “other before being married to Doug” name. He didn’t notice it right away but when he did he called the online booking people who told him this:

“You will have to call United directly because we can’t make a name change”

Ok – no biggie. He called United and they told him:

“You will have to deal with the online booking people directly because we can’t make a name change”

Ok – this is becoming a bit of a pain. He called the online booking people back and they told him:

“If United won’t make the name change then you will have to cancel the existing reservation and we will issue a credit in that person’s name and you can rebook under the correct name”.

Ok – just one small problem – there is no person of that name anymore and so the credit is no good for anyone and the cost of the new reservation was going to be more than 3 times the original – even though it’s for the same person travelling at the exact same time.

So I told Doug, “let me call United directly, I should be able to get them to change my name to the correct one”. So I called United Airlines Customer Service 1-800-wanna-fly number and spoke to a “Customer Service Representative”. I told her that I needed to change the name on my ticket because it was my maiden name and all my ID was in my married name. She told me:

“I’m sorry, I can’t change your name because it’s against the law”.

What?????

“Ever since 9/11 it’s been against the law to change the name on a reservation”.

What????? I worked at the airport during 9/11 and know of no such law that came into effect regarding changing of names. In fact, I was pretty sure that the US Government would rather have proper names on the passenger lists as opposed to names that don’t exist legally.

Ok – no biggie – she’s obviously not empowered to change the name. I asked to speak to her supervisor and this is how that went:

CSR’s Supervisor: Yes, may I help you?

Me: I need to change the name on my reservation from my maiden name to my married name as all my ID is in my married name.

CSR’s Supervisor: We cannot change the name because it’s against the law.

Me: What law? It’s not against the law -

CSR’s Supervisor: It IS against the law – are you calling me a liar??

Me: Other Airlines do it -

CSR’s Supervisor: Well, they’re breaking the law – United Airlines does not break the law.

Well, this is going nowhere fast. Obviously she is not empowered to change the name either. So I ask to speak to her supervisor.

CSR's Supervisor: I don't have a supervisor

No kidding – because you have one big attitude problem and it’s starting to piss me off.

Me: Well, who do you report to???

CSR’s Supervisor: I don’t report to anyone.

Oh, ok. Although I’m pretty sure that you do.

Me: So there is no one in the entire United Airlines hierarchy that can change my name.

CSR’s Supervisor: No, it’s against the law and we don’t break the law. We don't know if it's really you. It’s not our fault that you were stupid enough to book it under the wrong name.

Oh, please you’ve just made my day. Like you do DNA matches with all those online bookings.

Me: (very sarcastically) Thank you SOOO much for all your help

And this is what she actually said:

CSR’s Supervisor: You’re welcome. Thank you for flying United Airlines.

What???? Yeah, I am so going to fly United and I am so going to get that name changed and it’s not going to cost me one cent more.

Part II coming up.