What's the deal with WOOD?

I was reading my newest edition of House and Home during breakfast (aka quality time with my husband) and mentioned to Doug that the editor was editorializing a discussion she was having with her husband that a lot of women have with theirs.  At which point, totally unprompted, Doug chanted "men should leave all decorating decisions to women".


But I said, no not that - the other major discussion:


To paint or not to paint WOOD (all in caps because it's up there with GOD).


The editor was talking about her kitchen cabinets - they were cherry and she wanted to paint them a charcoal colour and add sleek metal pulls.  I was all, absolutely!  I would love to have that in my kitchen.  But of course her husband didn't want to paint wood.  I ran into that with so many clients where we wanted to repurpose furniture or cabinetry and for the most part any mention of paint caused anaphylactic shock in men.


(We once had a cabin that was made all of wood - the floors, the walls, the cabinets, the ceilings - everything was wood.  I wanted to paint the walls to brighten it up and Doug just laughed and laughed, saying "You don't paint WOOD".)

So I asked him "What's the deal with you guys and wood?"

And this is what he, in all seriousness, said:

"Men have a closer relationship with wood than women do.  We work with it and women don't."  And then he left the room.

I'm all "What?  You're What??  OK Mr. Computer Programmer/woodworker guy, I failed to notice the amount of whittling, carving and sanding that was required everytime you wrote some code".

And he pointed out to me that he had built the room downstairs (and yes, I do remember those gorgeous 2x4's) and had made a coffee table and I will concede that.  And I promise never to paint the coffee table that he made.  But really, this relationship with wood is just weird.

At the end of the magazine they have a regular column called "Ask a Designer".  And the questions was about how to decorate a master bedroom.  Cameron McNeil, the designer guy, said about the furniture that was in the room:

"Your wood furniture is nice, but all of it together seems a bit heavy.  To vary the look, paint your bedside tables in Bone White".

Now there's a man worth marrying.

It's My Dirty Little Secret

I don’t know how to dress myself. Haven’t a clue. If the outfit doesn’t come complete off the mannequin I’m hooped. To be faced with row upon row of clothes hanging on, well, hangars, forget it. Leave me to my own devices and I’ll pick out something guaranteed to make me feel like I’m starring in my own reality version of what the hell is she wearing?? When I was a working in a real office person, I loved two piece suits. It was like wearing a uniform. No rational thinking required. Just walk into the store, pick out a mannequin and say I’ll take it. And I had lots of them. And sometimes, when I was adventurous and oh so edgy, I would take the jacket from one suit and pair it with the skirt from another. And with my three pairs of shoes (black, brown, navy – come on, you know a girl can NEVER have too many pairs of shoes) the combinations could be endless. Hair and makeup was a whole other issue. Well, actually not as it was pretty much non-existent.

This is the thing – I can dress a house. Give me any room and I can do it’s hair, makeup and styling - no problem. And don’t get me started on showrooms – anybody can decorate by picking out a showroom and saying I’ll take it! You might as well just walk into a clothing store and look at the mannequins and say…..

So when I found myself in Chicago recently with some friends, I thought I would try bumping it up a notch. It was a little nippy out so I thought I would try on some scarves. As an accessory. Like a real grown up. After winding it around my neck as if I was dressing a 5 year old to go outside and play in -10 degree weather, Pat gently suggested that perhaps she could show me a better way to wear it. And she did. And I loved it! The scarf was so pretty – grey with sparkly bits. But then Pat said the colour didn’t do anything for me. What? You see, I had already envisioned me wearing it Christmas Eve, right next to my black, white and silver tree – you know, the one that matches my bathroom.

And then I realized – I sometimes dress myself like I’m a tchotchke. I’ve also been known to buy a dress for a special occasion, just because the fabric will make fabulous cushions after! And now that I look at all the Christmas presents I’ve bought, I apologize in advance. But, believe me, you’ll all look fabulous next to the tree!

Aww, granddaughters

I’m an interior decorator and when my granddaughter was born I couldn’t wait to do her room. Unfortunately, there were strict rental restrictions about redecorating so we had to wait. But in the meantime, Jenna was exposed to various decorating situations – her favorite TV show when she was 3 was Trading Spaces. She had definite ideas about color – or lack thereof. Anything white or beige wasn’t a color. She made that perfectly clear. Her favorite decorator on the show was Genevieve and that was because she always made a statement.

Yeah, so I got a phone call one day from her mom (my daughter) and it was clear that I was in some kind of trouble.

Her: Mother? Jenna is grounded from watching Trading Spaces.

Me: (not sure how to react – how in the world does a 3 year old get grounded from watching Trading Spaces????)

Her: You won’t believe what she did…

Me: (I somehow think this has something to do with me and it’s not good)

Her: I went upstairs to her room because she was being very quiet and GUESS what she was doing??????

Me: Um…I don’t know….reading??

Her: She was PAINTING her white furniture with a PURPLE felt marker!!!!!!

Me: really? (um, this is NOT good)

Her: She said to me “The White HAS to go”.

Me: Ok – so maybe you might want to check on the carpet – she told me it had to go, too.

Her: GRRRRR

So a couple of years later I bought her paint, a Trading Spaces shirt (signed by Genevieve and Hildi no less) and helped to paint her furniture properly. All is forgiven - and Jenna still hates anything white.