I don’t know how to dress myself. Haven’t a clue. If the outfit doesn’t come complete off the mannequin I’m hooped. To be faced with row upon row of clothes hanging on, well, hangars, forget it. Leave me to my own devices and I’ll pick out something guaranteed to make me feel like I’m starring in my own reality version of what the hell is she wearing?? When I was a working in a real office person, I loved two piece suits. It was like wearing a uniform. No rational thinking required. Just walk into the store, pick out a mannequin and say I’ll take it. And I had lots of them. And sometimes, when I was adventurous and oh so edgy, I would take the jacket from one suit and pair it with the skirt from another. And with my three pairs of shoes (black, brown, navy – come on, you know a girl can NEVER have too many pairs of shoes) the combinations could be endless. Hair and makeup was a whole other issue. Well, actually not as it was pretty much non-existent.
This is the thing – I can dress a house. Give me any room and I can do it’s hair, makeup and styling - no problem. And don’t get me started on showrooms – anybody can decorate by picking out a showroom and saying I’ll take it! You might as well just walk into a clothing store and look at the mannequins and say…..
So when I found myself in Chicago recently with some friends, I thought I would try bumping it up a notch. It was a little nippy out so I thought I would try on some scarves. As an accessory. Like a real grown up. After winding it around my neck as if I was dressing a 5 year old to go outside and play in -10 degree weather, Pat gently suggested that perhaps she could show me a better way to wear it. And she did. And I loved it! The scarf was so pretty – grey with sparkly bits. But then Pat said the colour didn’t do anything for me. What? You see, I had already envisioned me wearing it Christmas Eve, right next to my black, white and silver tree – you know, the one that matches my bathroom.
And then I realized – I sometimes dress myself like I’m a tchotchke. I’ve also been known to buy a dress for a special occasion, just because the fabric will make fabulous cushions after! And now that I look at all the Christmas presents I’ve bought, I apologize in advance. But, believe me, you’ll all look fabulous next to the tree!
