Monday, May 26, 2008

Fly the Friendly Skies of United (Part 1)

About a year ago Doug booked airfare to Hawaii online, for the two of us. The cheapest flight was through United Airlines. So far, so good. Oh, except for the fact that he booked it on a site that we don’t normally use and when our names came up in a dropdown box, he selected our names and completed the reservation. Only I guess it must have been a dozen years ago when he last booked on there because that particular site had my “other before being married to Doug” name. He didn’t notice it right away but when he did he called the online booking people who told him this:

“You will have to call United directly because we can’t make a name change”

Ok – no biggie. He called United and they told him:

“You will have to deal with the online booking people directly because we can’t make a name change”

Ok – this is becoming a bit of a pain. He called the online booking people back and they told him:

“If United won’t make the name change then you will have to cancel the existing reservation and we will issue a credit in that person’s name and you can rebook under the correct name”.

Ok – just one small problem – there is no person of that name anymore and so the credit is no good for anyone and the cost of the new reservation was going to be more than 3 times the original – even though it’s for the same person travelling at the exact same time.

So I told Doug, “let me call United directly, I should be able to get them to change my name to the correct one”. So I called United Airlines Customer Service 1-800-wanna-fly number and spoke to a “Customer Service Representative”. I told her that I needed to change the name on my ticket because it was my maiden name and all my ID was in my married name. She told me:

“I’m sorry, I can’t change your name because it’s against the law”.

What?????

“Ever since 9/11 it’s been against the law to change the name on a reservation”.

What????? I worked at the airport during 9/11 and know of no such law that came into effect regarding changing of names. In fact, I was pretty sure that the US Government would rather have proper names on the passenger lists as opposed to names that don’t exist legally.

Ok – no biggie – she’s obviously not empowered to change the name. I asked to speak to her supervisor and this is how that went:

CSR’s Supervisor: Yes, may I help you?

Me: I need to change the name on my reservation from my maiden name to my married name as all my ID is in my married name.

CSR’s Supervisor: We cannot change the name because it’s against the law.

Me: What law? It’s not against the law -

CSR’s Supervisor: It IS against the law – are you calling me a liar??

Me: Other Airlines do it -

CSR’s Supervisor: Well, they’re breaking the law – United Airlines does not break the law.

Well, this is going nowhere fast. Obviously she is not empowered to change the name either. So I ask to speak to her supervisor.

CSR's Supervisor: I don't have a supervisor

No kidding – because you have one big attitude problem and it’s starting to piss me off.

Me: Well, who do you report to???

CSR’s Supervisor: I don’t report to anyone.

Oh, ok. Although I’m pretty sure that you do.

Me: So there is no one in the entire United Airlines hierarchy that can change my name.

CSR’s Supervisor: No, it’s against the law and we don’t break the law. We don't know if it's really you. It’s not our fault that you were stupid enough to book it under the wrong name.

Oh, please you’ve just made my day. Like you do DNA matches with all those online bookings.

Me: (very sarcastically) Thank you SOOO much for all your help

And this is what she actually said:

CSR’s Supervisor: You’re welcome. Thank you for flying United Airlines.

What???? Yeah, I am so going to fly United and I am so going to get that name changed and it’s not going to cost me one cent more.

Part II coming up.

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